Victim Mindset vs. Validated Feelings

How do we accept and validate our feelings without giving into a victim mindset? When we’re wronged, it’s natural and acceptable to feel hurt, betrayed, and so forth. But how do we prevent ourselves from stepping into a victim role?

I’ve always struggled with “playing the victim.” It’s hardest when it’s a role that I have the right to play at the hand of someone else’s behavior. The problem with the victim role is that it always keeps me in a negative mindset, stuck in whatever someone did to me, instead of working through how the situation made me feel, healing, and moving forward with my life. I didn’t want to ignore my feelings but I also didn’t want to dwell on them in a way that kept me mentally and emotionally stuck in that moment.

Over time and following some insightful conversations, I’ve found that what works best for me is to set boundaries for managing my emotions, identifying what I can and can’t control, and then walking in acceptance of that reality. All difficult and trying situations with another person or group of people won’t end in “healthy closure” or the apology we may have hoped for, and that has to be okay. We can’t control another person’s behavior. We can, however, give ourselves a healthy way to feel and express our feelings, whether that is journaling, therapy, prayer, or anything that works for us without depending on uncontrollable factors.

It’s not always an easy task but it is a liberating and empowering habit to have. Like anything, practice makes perfect. I’d be lying if I said I don’t still struggle with succumbing to a victim mentality but over time it’s become easier to identify and check myself accordingly.

Don’t let anyone have that much power over you, kings and queens.

xoxoxo,
DASH