Dating Fails

I have something cringy to say….I made a habit of people pleasing in the dating realm.

Yes, you read it right.

Yes, it is pitiful.

The good news is that it’s old news.

This little revelation became clear to me during a time of self reflection. I noticed a trend of a lack of accountability and unclear expectations that I would water down in light of someone’s potential or because they were a “good person”.

But being nice doesn’t equate to someone’s level of commitment to or compatibility with you.

You also can’t hold someone accountable if your expectations aren’t clear.

Furthermore, you can’t set expectations if you aren’t properly loving yourself.
I’m learning that falling in love with yourself gives you a sense of fullness, confidence and clarity about who you are. Self love empowers you to set expectations about how others treat you and what and who you are willing to commit to.

When you understand yourself, you love yourself right where you are. You know your worth. You’re cozy with who you are (shoutout to Queen Bey) – your strengths, your flaws and everything that’s a work-in-progress.
Your foundation is solid, so you’re not easily persuaded to settle for less.
You’re not afraid to communicate mistreatment. You’re not afraid to walk away from relationships that disrupt your peace. You’re not afraid to stand up for yourself, even if that means you ruffle some feathers…even if that means being single (because this is truly not a negative experience when it’s done right).

So, what is my new approach? What am I replacing “people pleasing” and “settling” with?…I WALK THE TALK.
I say what I mean, and I act accordingly. I don’t allow my feelings to disrupt my decision making. I won’t be explained into a situationship. I won’t be guilted into toxicity. I take the advice that I give and stray away from opportunities to embarrass myself.

Darion 3.0 is not having it, and I encourage all my men and women to do the same, no matter your relationship status. Stop responding to texts from the liar. Stop going to see the leader of situationships. Stop giving access to any old body that seeks it – exclusivity is always a vibe.

Know your worth and stand on it. Real bad.

xoxoxo,
DASH